Every excuse in the book is hauled up to bolster the argument against marriage. A quick look at celebrities is proof that marriage is a joke. The ‘ball and chain’ does much more to bring people down than it does to build them up. It’s easier and more beneficial to leave marriage out of the conversation, just entering and exiting relationships as we see fit. It’s smart to ‘test the waters’ before marriage so divorce doesn’t happen later.
Do these comments make you bristle? If you’ve been happily married for years, they should. If you have any connection with the Word of God, you should be inwardly shouting “NO!” as you read the words of the above paragraph. But these arguments and so many more are being hurled from our culture today.
Have you ever heard of polyamory? It’s a trend we are seeing more and more of where two people in a monogamous relationship opt to invite others in. Fully invite, as in they marry more than one person. Open relationships are also a thing. The idea is infidelity doesn’t exist as long as both partners agree on the terms. Co-habitating has been a reality for years. Pew Research says that almost 60% of people have lived with a partner before marriage and almost 70% of people agree this is a good thing. Contributing to this loose idea is the sexual revolution that preached free love to anyone who would listen. Sex was trivialized to the level of a roller coaster ride as just something else to do that felt good. This also gave rise to the male who felt like he’d conquered something by having sex with multiple partners. The sexual revolution ended up demeaning women instead of liberating them.
Marriage is in trouble and Christians need to be aware. What can we do? We can model faithfulness and monogamy for our kids and community. The Biblical idea is “oneness.” God says the man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife and the two will become one flesh. This is by all means not just a verse about sex, but the idea of sex is certainly present. The intention of oneness is a union of the soul between two people. Married couples become one in every sense of the word. They share things they can’t touch like dreams, goals, hopes and memories. They share things they can touch like finances, a home, a bed, children, vacations and friends. As a life is molded together, a married couple bound by love and faithfulness will grow inseparable. They start to think and act alike. Personalities begin to take on characteristics of the other person. So much joy is present as the married couple chooses to do life together on a daily basis.
But our culture seeks to destroy this. The US has one of the highest divorce rates in the world and according to worldpopulationreview.com, Arkansas has one of the highest rates in the country. The same poll determines that “in the United States, between 35%-50% of first-time marriages end in divorce (that number increases to 60% if the couple is between the ages of 20-25), increasing to approximately 60% for second marriages and 70+% for marriages after the second.”
Will you choose faithfulness to your spouse over the barrage of messages our culture sends us to abandon ship? Will you choose biblical oneness, even when life is hard and the horizon looks even more difficult? Will you choose to set your own dreams aside for the benefit of a shared dream with your mate?
Research consistently shows that married couples are happier, they tend to have more stability, be less lonely than single, enjoy more financial security, and be all around more satisfied with the direction of their lives. This is not at all to demean or belittle those who are not married. These statements are simply facts. I pulled them out of the sea of info on marriage to make a point: God designed marriage and it is good when it is done His way. Certainly, God calls some to singleness, but that is typically for a minority of the population. For years, marriage represented a covenant between two people and God to honor Him and honor each other for life. This typically took place early in life, most often when the couple was in their 20’s. Now we are seeing couples wait longer and longer to tie the knot. Some cite the need for financial security, but most wait because they aren’t ready to settle down and build a family. Many that do jump into a relationship, opt for the co-habitating model versus the covenant model.
Christ follower, just like everything else God does, marriage is something you can trust. Don’t listen to the lies that it is outdated and better left alone. A monogamous, faithful, covenant relationship is one of the most enriching and exciting pieces of our society. I encourage you to not write off marriage, but embrace it!