That said, what about the second function men are to perform for women, the “caring” for a wife? I know that using the words “man” and “caring” in the same sentence is to invite scorn and disbelief, but indulge me for the moment. The fact is, women are physically weaker than men, and need to be protected from things that will do them harm, such as other stupid men, cars with flat tires, jars that won’t open, taxes and bill-paying. Women can do just about anything if they put their mind to it, but that doesn’t mean they should. It’s not about ability, but about manners. Emily Post says manners are the art of making people feel comfortable, and a man can actually make a woman feel good on occasion if he’ll take over some basic responsibilities.

 Simply put, the man you are looking for will make sure you do not have to be afraid of the predations of other men or machines. He will say nice things about you to his friends, he will oppose those who give you trouble, and he will know how to do simple mechanical procedures so that you will not have to. He will change the oil in your car, check on the pressure in the tires, he will wash the thing and empty his beer cans out of the back seat if the kids need to go along. He will know how to drive a stick and help you to learn to do so as well. He will know how to set up the VCR to tape Access Hollywood, ER and American Idol for you, even when he doesn’t want to watch them himself.  He will do the taxes, balance the checkbook, have a family budget and work with you to keep shoe acquisitions in line with income. He will not have dippy habits like golf, gambling, drinking to excess or anything else which hurt his ability to earn or manage money. He will mow the lawn, clean the gutters, and fix appliances when necessary without calling the repairman.

 Finally, a man should protect his wife from the most dangerous thing of all, your own children.  No man worthy of the name will shirk his responsibility of disciplining the children.  He will believe in corporal punishment, while being able to distinguish between honest mistakes, fatigue and outright rebellion on the part of the child. Such a father makes sure that the kids are secure within limits, so that his wife can be a mother and not a monster. God has ordained that in order to make kids, you need a mother and father.  It is His plan that the dude stick around and deal with the fruit of his fun.  Every family needs a parent to minister justice, and one to minister grace.  This is to reflect Jesus’ dual role as Savior and Lord.  How you divide up the work is up to you, but it can’t be done right without a man around.

Next Issue: The Yeti, The Unicorn, and the Desirable Man