These three areas—absenteeism, appearances, and deep-rooted selfishness—are putting more marriages on the rocks than ever before. I visit with couples often who are carrying one (or more) of these bombs in their luggage. The thing is, they don’t realize the burdens are there, even though they feel their weight. Once they realize the root of their problem, they often feel it is too late to do something about it.
I have a message for those married in South Arkansas today. IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO TURN YOUR MARRIAGE AROUND! You may feel like you are trapped. You are NOT! You may think you are helpless. You are NOT! There is hope for your marriage and it absolutely begins with you. The question is, are you willing to fight for this unbelievable gift God has given you? Don’t listen to the lie the enemy is so good at feeding us, “He’s not worth it. You just need out.” Or, “She’s a witch. You need that girl over there. She’s so much better.” Those are lies. Talk to anyone who’s chased them and they’ll tell you. The spouse you have is the best option you have for a happy life. (The only caveat I’d insert here is in the case of abuse. If you are getting beaten up, don’t hesitate to get out. But don’t do it alone. Reach out for help.) Remember this, we have an enemy who wants nothing more than to see God’s gifts to you destroyed. That means he attacks your marriage, your kids, your salvation, your friendships and your desires. Call his lies what they are: deception and destructive. Don’t believe them. Press them back with truth.
What is the truth about marriage? God created the most beautiful gift on earth for His glory and our good. When we invest in the marriage He’s given us, we see a life begin to emerge we never thought possible. The joy that comes when we fight for our marriage and not against it is unbelievable. The friendship we gain when we choose to love our spouse is invaluable. So many couples choose selfishness and lose these gifts. They live in two, separate, independent worlds and then wonder why their marriage doesn’t work. They divide all their time and then wonder why their best friends don’t live in their home. They invest in every opportunity that comes along, except the ones designed to make their marriage stronger and wonder why they fight all the time. Marriage is a gift, but it takes an incredible amount of work to succeed.
I tell couples all the time, marriage is by far the hardest thing you will ever do, if you do it well. At the end of your life, if you give up on your marriage, it will be the thing you most regret. And, if at the end of your life, you continue to choose to love your mate, it will be the thing you are most proud of (and the thing everyone around you is most proud of). Strong marriages leave great legacies. Most of the people in their family tree follow suit and put down deep roots. Broken marriages leave legacies too. Absenteeism and selfishness are at the top of the list of characteristics inherited from marriages that don’t survive.
We want to offer you a tool. It’s not a one-time, fix-all offer, but it is something that will help you get off to a good start. Hope FBC is hosting a Marriage Tune-up on October 17 & 18. This event is open for anyone, regardless of your background or beliefs. We’ve limited it to 40 couples with the goal of promoting good conversation in the groups. If your marriage is in trouble, this is a good step in the right direction. If you’d describe your marriage as healthy, this is a tool you can stick in your hip pocket that will make it stronger. If you’ve been through some rocky times, this will help stabilize you. If you are facing some big decisions in the future and aren’t sure how they will affect your marriage, this will give you some confidence. It’s not a guarantee, but it is good. I’ll be there. I encourage you to sign up soon to get in this first group. Call the church office at 870.777.5757.
Maybe you grew up without a mom or dad and are super hesitant to take the plunge into marriage for fear you’ll mess it up. Maybe you’re stuck in a rut and constantly worried about what everyone else thinks about your marriage instead of looking your mate in the eye and asking what they think. Maybe you just don’t care—huge warning sign!! Invest in God’s best gift to you and see if it doesn’t pay large
dividends. The best is yet to come.