As I’ve already hinted, your first move might be to stop looking in church at all. I will go so far as to say that many of the character traits you want in a man; a love of truth, a penchant for honesty and fair play, a sense of humor and a brain may prove incompatible with church attendance. Face it, many churches are so often dull, religious, hypocritical and downright incorrect in what they believe and teach that they’re not worth the lightning God could use to destroy them.  

So step number one is to stop looking for the guy who’s already converted. It’s easier to make a man a Christian than to make a Christian a man, if you know what I mean. This doesn’t mean you should engage in missionary dating to the extent that you deny your moral stance.  It simply means that the revelation of the Lordship of Jesus Christ can dawn upon a man in an instant, while the necessary preparations that make him a suitable life partner take years and years, with or without the accoutrements of religion. You can find unattached straight men in church, but be prepared for Islamic levels of repression, stultified love-making, and a generalized candy-assed approach to life.

So if they’re often not in church, then where are they?  God made men to be fighters, in part so they can protect their women-folk.  To a great extent, however, modern society has robbed men of their opportunities to prove themselves in conflict. Real men will, if given the chance, find other avenues for releasing the aggression and competitiveness God has instilled in them.  This is the explanation of all the “extreme” sports and diversions that are gaining popularity. Thus, instead of going to a singles Bible study where the “men” are hopelessly picked over, think of hobbies, cultural activities and recreation that you can relate to where real men might be found and hunted. Don’t worry that rock climbing, mountaineering, auto racing, skiing and scuba diving are dangerous; worry that you might marry some poltroon who doesn’t see the challenge in such things. Besides, that’s why God invented life insurance.

 So not only are Christian girls looking in the wrong places, they’re erecting qualifications which may sound spiritual, but which are in fact unbiblical. For starters, don’t faint if the guy drinks a little. Now if he drinks wine coolers, Zema or bourbon of any brand, beware, as the devil has hold of his soul.  Beer and single malt scotch, however, represent what God intended barley to be used for.  At least, that’s what Friar Tuck would have us believe.  Ben Franklin said that beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy, and I agree.  Wine, too, unadulterated, makes man’s heart glad, and Jesus made 180 gallons of the stuff, for crying out loud. The Bible rightly inveighs against drunkenness, but it endorses reasonable drinking. If you want a man, don’t hurt the odds by being so religious.

 What I’m driving at is that you want a man, not a mere male. He needs to be able to roust himself to face and meet any challenge in a creative manner and to bring about a positive outcome. If he can solve problems in his vocation and avocations, he can also bring those skills to bear upon problems on the home front. Don’t worry that he be part of your particular religious clique, worry that he’s honest in all his dealings and knows and follows the Golden Rule. That’s all God cares about, and so should you.

Next Issue: How to Land the Catch